Monday, 31 August 2015

A Cooking Lesson Well Learnt.

Have you ever done this? You take a sausage and... Well, what you do is, you take a sausage and cut the skin off it with a sharp knife. It has to be a sharp knife otherwise the skin doesn’t cut and just sort of wrinkles up. You can use scissors – sharp scissors – but they tend to dig into the sausage meat a bit if you’re not careful.

Let’s imagine you have cut the skin off the sausage successfully. You can now discard the skin – throw it in the bin – or maybe give it to the dog if you have a dog, or give it to the cat. Don’t whatever you do give it to your pet budgie. They tend to get sausage skins stuck in their gizzard and clog it up. Best to put it in the bin after all and avoid problems. Hey look, don’t let me sway you. Just do what you like with the discarded skin. But spare a thought for the budgie, that’s all I’m saying.

Have you done that? Taken the skin off? Okay, so put the sausage meat on a board and flatten it. You can use a rolling pin or the heel bit of your hand to do this part. Put some flour on the board first and a little bit on the sausage meat. I should have told you that earlier because it stops the sausage meat sticking to the board. Or the rolling pin. Or your hand if you use the heel part of your hand. Sorry I forgot to mention that. Sausage meat is really sticky. The heel of your hand is the fleshy part on the edge opposite your thumb. It’s that part you would use to karate chop someone.  Perhaps you knew that already?

When you have done that make the sausage meat into a square or a round shape. Make it to fit either two slices of bread or a bread roll. I made mine square because I didn’t have a bread roll.  Oh and don’t forget to season to taste.All you have to do now is fry it on a medium heat for about four minutes each side.

I just did it a few minutes ago. It was horrible. Really really greasy. I gave it to Mia the German Shepherd. I certainly won’t be doing it again. I don’t know why I did it just now to be honest. I much prefer sausages with their skins on. Teach me to mess around with good food!

Maybe I should have added some chopped onion?

Monday, 24 August 2015

No It Didn't.

Last Wednesday it was. Wendy in the Post Office seemed surprised to see me.
“Hello John, she said, looking at me with a sort of, are you OK sort of look on her face. “Are you OK?”
“Yes, I’m fine thanks,” I say.
“I was sorry to hear about the fire,” she says and turning to her colleague Pauline she says, “We were sorry to hear about the fire weren’t we Pauline?”
Pauline looks over to me with a kind of sorry sort of look on her face but she doesn’t say anything because she is serving a customer.
“What fire?” I ask.
“Your caravan burnt down this morning,” she says.
“Well,” I says, “that’s strange because I was in my caravan only ten minutes ago and it definitely hadn’t burnt down then.”
“Well,” she says, “we heard the fire engines going past this morning and someone said your caravan had burnt down.”
“Who was it who said that?” I ask her.
She turns to Pauline, “Who was it that said John’s caravan had burnt down this morning?” she asks her. Pauline doesn’t remember who said it. They both look at me puzzled.
“Anyway, we are glad you are OK. We are glad he’s OK aren’t we.” she says including Pauline in her gladness and Pauline nods her agreement whilst serving another customer.
And then I go home feeling glad indeed that I still have a home to go to.

Sunday, 2 August 2015

A Busy Artist.

Here is the finished painting of the ducks I mentioned in my last post.

As I said I have been busy doing a lot of paintings lately. Here are a few more. If you click on a picture I think they will enlarge.

Blue moon, green sea

Child of Gaza.

Fishing boat.

Colourful fat woman.

Nice cup of tea.

Saint Andrews church, Ford, West Sussex.

The Romany Way.


Squabbling With The Vicar.

Girls in summer frocks.

Self portrait

Mia watching how it's done.

Mia the German Shepherd has settled into life here. She is no longer interested in fighting other dogs (touch wood) and is a real sweetheart with everyone she meets. Even Bonnie the Ginger Cat is getting along with her, finally.

I hope you like my paintings.