Friday 1 April 2011

The Golden Cockerel's clock repair. Resisting an urge.

I mentioned the other day about the very early morning routine of the Wing Commander, my very handsome golden Cockerel. I am referring to him as a Cockerel from now on because some of you, I will mention no names here, seemed to get a bit over excited when I, in my total innocence, let me hasten to add, used the short and very proper old English word 'cock'.
What had been happening with the Wing Commander was that his internal clock had, for some reason unknown to me, become out of sync'. This had led to him rising very early in the mornings whilst it was still dark in fact, and proclaiming loudly, also very wrongly that it was dawn. When I say very early I am actually talking between one and two o'clock in the wee small hours. Really annoying. How I never got any complaints from the neighbours I just don't know.
But the problem has been solved. The wayward Cockerels clock has adjusted itself. I say the problem has been solved. What I should say, is that the problem has solved itself. Nature has come to the rescue, and indeed to the Wing Commanders rescue. Well, lets be honest here. He was in serious danger of having his neck stretched.
How has this miraculous inner clock adjustment been made? I shall tell you. Do you remember me telling you that two new young hens had arrived last week? Well it turns out that the Wing Commander has been tutoring his new young ladies in the arts of love. Sadly, I have to inform you, that he has bespoiled them both. He has acted like an utter cad. Their virtue is no more. Their cherries have been taken. In short and putting it bluntly. The Wing Commander has shagged them both! The ladies themselves are not without fault. After their initial reluctance they are now willing partners in this debauchery. Giving themselves to him, without hesitation, in return for a worm or two. Of course it should not be forgotten that the Wing Commander also has conjugal obligations to his other wives, and he does his utmost to fulfill those duties with vigour.
The result? Absolute blissful peace and quiet in the mornings. Actually the Wing Commander has been having a bit of a lay in these last few mornings. Poor thing. He really is completely shagged out!
If there is such a thing as reincarnation I wouldn't mind coming back as a Cockerel. Better that, than being a complete and utter 'cock'!

Sadie the German Shepherd - I don't like to just refer to her as 'the dog'. She deserves her full title - and I, happened to pass the local fish and chip shop today on our walk. As we passed by I noticed a very big woman coming out. She was carrying a large bag of chips. Have you ever experienced that weird sensation where you want to say something to a complete stranger but you know you mustn't? Well it happened to me then. I know it's none of my business but I wanted to tell her to take the chips back. I wanted to tell her she didn't need them. Thankfully I managed to resist the urge, and Sadie and I walked swiftly past.

Our walking route also took us past the village Church. I couldn't help noticing, that the yellow no parking lines have been almost completely worn away. Where the cars have been parking on them!

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